Is Normal Working For You? - By Mandy Sergent

With the holidays now quietly fading into the background, for most of us, our lives are returning to normal. I’m curious what normal means for you. And, is normal working for you?

With each New Year that falls upon us, it’s common to set a resolution or an intention for things to be different in the future than they were in the past. But, if we don’t take the time to get to the bottom of our desire for change and growth, if our intentions are not specific enough, or if our intentions are fueled by external pressures rather than internal longing, we might find that we are set up for failure. 

Each January, I see a surge in yoga class attendance, my phone rings off the hook, and my email in-box nearly explodes. Within a few weeks, things return to “normal”. Class attendance returns to the yogis who have practiced with me for years.  A lot of the new folks fade away (yes, some do stay).  And I have to wonder if this is due to the case of a generic New Year’s Resolution – one of those that we are all familiar with: eat healthier; exercise more often; take more time for myself…  There is nothing wrong with these resolutions, if they come from true desire and clarity. But, if you have chosen one of these because you think you “should”, you are not likely to follow through with it long-term.

The good news is that we can always start over again. Each time we come to our yoga mats, we start fresh with our yoga practice. We start with a few moments of being silent, reconnect with our breath, and check in with ourselves to see what we need in that moment. Some days, we have extra energy to burn and a vigorous practice calls to us. Other days, we’re tired and in need of rest, so a restorative practice is more appropriate. Some days, we balance so steadily that crossing a tightrope seems nearly possible and other days we are trees blowing in the wind. At times, we stand strong in Warrior pose and feel as if our energy meridians have all connected and we are being refueled.  Perhaps, other times we feel wobbly and misaligned and can’t wait for the posture to end. But that is what yoga is about, right – being in each moment? There is no right and wrong, not better or best, no one pose fits all.

Just as we get the opportunity to re-evaluate our practice each time we roll out our yoga mats, we can re-evaluate our lives each day. There is nothing more magical about January 1^st than any other day of the year. Whether you’ve set a resolution for 2011 or not, if you feel a subtle urging inside and want to make a change, try the following exercise to get really clear on how to move forward. It is important to take your time through this process.  Allow yourself at least 20 minutes of quiet, uninterrupted time.

• Find a comfortable way to sit. You should be able to relax, but stay alert. Take a few deep breaths to settle into that position. Let go of any expectations of what your intention or resolution should be and allow your mind to quiet down.
• Now, reflect back over your last year (or day, or event, or whatever you want to take a closer look at). Take a few minutes to remember as much as you can, big or small; what worked and what did not work; events that happened daily as well as those that happened only once; things that people said to you, what you said to others, and also those gentle nudgings from that voice inside. After a few minutes of reflecting, ask yourself, "What ONE thing stands out the most?" Get really clear about why this particular thing stands out. As best as you can, put yourself back in that moment. How did you feel? Who was with you? What were your surroundings? Does this feel like something you want more of in your life, or less of?
• Next, keeping in mind what stood out, and its particular qualities, let your view grow a little wider and consider the rest of your life – all aspects: work, play, free time, relationships, your thoughts, your feelings and emotions. How does what stood out relate to your day to day life on a regular basis? Is there some kind of pattern that you notice? This could be an area of your life that has similar qualities as what stood out.  Alternatively, it could be an area of your life where those qualities are missing.
• Now, take a moment to connect to the all-knowing place inside yourself that you go to for wisdom or guidance. If you feel unsure about what that means, imagine that you have a best friend - someone who always has your best intentions in mind - sitting with you. What advice does this place (person) have to offer you about what stood out over the last year and how it relates to your day to day life? You might ask yourself, “Given all that I’ve noticed, how can life be even better for me?” Keep in mind that information can come in a number of ways - words, a feeling, an image - so listen with all of your senses. If nothing comes to you right away, don't fret.  Remember that simply having a new awareness is enough to start the process of change and this step might become clearer as time passes.
• Finally, when you've heard, seen, or otherwise sensed some guidance from this place (person), come up with ONE action step for how to move forward.  This step should be geared towards helping you bring that guidance more fully into your day to day life. If your guidance was to make a change in your life, what one step can you take towards that change? If your guidance was a feeling, perhaps peacefulness, what can you do to bring more peace into your life? Resist the urge to come up with an entire plan for your year. Remember that you can always stop to regroup and re-evaluate.

So, fellow yogis, tell me: did you set an intention or resolution for 2011? Are you still sticking with it? If so, how? And if not, how can you regroup, and change your intention to be so specific, so spot on, that you cannot possibly fail?

Mandy Sergent
Yoga Instructor, Yoga Therapist | Boalsburg, PA 
mandysergent@hotmail.com |  www.mandysergent.com